1. Bottled baby food is bottled, therefore, not fresh.

2. Store-bought baby food has additives that I don’t think are necessary for my child.

3. Why should I limit my child to only the few selections the store carries.

4. I want my daughter to be exposed to spices.

5. I am home with her so why not use some of my time to make food for her.

6. I put myself in my daughters shoes; would I want to eat processed food everyday?

7. It’s simple.

8. Transitioning into adult food will be easier because she will be used to the flavors that I eat.

9. It’s fun.

* Notice that I did not put “It’s less expensive” on my list.  Some items are cheap to make, however, that is not one of my reasons for making baby food.

I had been married to my husband, Liji, for nearly six years when I found out I was pregnant.  Previously, we had decided that we didn’t want children.  We weren’t doing anything to prevent having a child and for the past six years nothing happened so we just figured that we couldn’t have children.  Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves we decided that it was okay that we couldn’t have kids and that our lives were pretty great.

It was Saturday morning September 25, 2010 that Liji and I were on our walk to the downtown farmers market and I started to feel a little icky.  As we got to the market I continued to feel worse and worse.  I got to the point where I couldn’t even stand up and I felt like vomiting.  Liji walked back to the house to get the car and came back to pick me up.  We started to discuss what could be wrong and that discussion led us to the store to purchase a pregnancy test. I took the test and it was positive.  A major rush of emotions ran through me. I began sobbing and sobbing and no they were NOT tears of joy.  I was utterly distraught.  I literally felt like my life was over.

I cried for a couple more weeks and then eventually got used to the idea that I was going to have a child.  Over the next nine months I actually became excited about the whole idea of being a mother.  The funnest part was to hear the comments my fifth grade students made throughout the pregnancy. They made comments about how big my belly was getting and how many times I would go to the bathroom. They always inquired about what I was going to do with the baby after it was born.  They wanted to know if it was going to be a vegetarian like me and if I would take it to India.  The suspense of not knowing if it was a boy or girl was just as fun for them as it was for me.

On May 11 Liji and I went to see our friend Nick’s show Urine Town and decided to stop for a late night piece of pizza at The Pie Hole afterwards.  When we got home, I went to bed and woke up around 1:00 am with a tummy ache.  I went to the bathroom thinking that I would feel better, but I couldn’t go so I went back to bed. 20 min later the same pain came back, but I ignored it and kept sleeping.  The pain came back again and I decided to wake Liji because it was so intense I felt like crying.  He insisted that we go to the hospital. I still didn’t think it was labor at this point because I wasn’t due for five more days. When we got to the hospital they told me that I was in labor.  I took birthing classes so I felt ready to do it as natural as possible with no medicine.

I stood for most of the labor because that is what felt best for me.  At around hour 16ish I was getting to the point where the pain was getting really, really, really bad. I was dilated to a ten but my water still had not broke.  The nurse was off to my side getting everything ready to break my water when I told her that I couldn’t take the pain anymore and I had to push.  I screamed and pushed and my water broke.  It felt like a water balloon popping and blood and water shot out across the room. After that point I threw the birthing class out the window.  I was taught to be calm and breath and focus.  Ha ha ha I was everything but calm.  I was screaming like a mad woman.  It was so painful.  I was pushing and screaming and sweating for I think around three hours. It wasn’t the best thing I have ever done, but it was definitely the most painful. It wasn’t the most beautiful thing either, but it was very weird.

The entire time Liji was so supportive.  He did everything in his power to make me feel more comfortable.  The doctors and staff were also great.  They didn’t offer me an epidural because I asked them not to even mention it.  All in all I did it without any medication.  The only thing I had while in the hospital was 3/4 bag of saline solution through an IV.  We had to ask the doctor if it was a boy or girl because they forgot to tell us right away.  The doctor pointed her toward us and said “What is it?”  It’s a girl! Having Mika on my chest immediately was such an indescribable feeling.  I felt so happy at that moment.

I was in the crowded store for an hour and a half and not once did a male try to touch me.  NOT ONCE!  If I were walking to the crowded vegetable market in Kochi, the number of times that someone would try to touch me, or succeed at doing so, would definitely be in the double  digits.

Will this fear that a man in a crowd is going to touch me ever go away?  Will I always feel paranoid when I am in a crowd of men?  Will this disease of the mind that originated in Kochi, where male perversion runs high, ever leave me?

1. Headache: tie a thorth (South Indian towel) tightly around the top of your head until pain goes away. When I have a bad migraine I tie the thorth and go lay down in a dark room to sleep.

2. Diarrhea: #1:Break mustard seeds by roasting them in a pan. Add water and boil.  Strain seeds out and drink the warm water (It kind of tastes like burnt popcorn).   #2: Boil guava leaves, strain, and drink water.

3. Cough: Chop up an onion and then mash it up add some sugar and take a bite.

4. Congestion: Mix dried ginger, black pepper,  and tulsi leaves (Holy Basil) with coffee and sugar and drink up.

5. Vomiting: Eat ice cream. (Not sure if this is really an Indian remedy.  I am thinking it is more of a Jinaraj family remedy.)

If you have any other home remedies, leave a comment  I would love to hear about them.

1 kg peas, 1kg sweet potatoes, 6 small tomatoes, 3 cucumbers= Rs.70=$1.51

2 different kinds of mangos (large)=Rs 36= $0.77

Average size pineapple= Rs 24= $0.51

Altogether= Rs 130=$2.79

Amazing, right?

I have lost all sense of myself since coming here.

I am living someone’s life. Who’s? Not mine.

Before I made the move to Kerala I was so excited.  My husband and I both were excited.  I had been here before and loved it. Maybe I loved it because it was a vacation and not a life move.  I have been here for almost five months now.  I am engulfed in the culture, and I am struggling.

I am struggling mostly because I am a woman in this society.  Kerala is a male dominated society.  Everything positive I had heard about the lives women lead here in Kerala was false.  Little did I know, the respect this society has for women is purely a myth.  Yes, life in Kerala for women has come a long way from where is used to be, but it is nowhere near where it should be in today’s world.

When I go out on the street I have learned to walk as far away from others as I can.  The reason is because I have had so many men touch me inappropriately and then act like it was a mistake.  I now understand the reason for women’s lines in all public places.  Really, though, the women’s lines don’t work.  While the women are in the line, men are harassing them from the men’s line.  This is the same reason there is a woman’s area on all buses.  That doesn’t work either because once the bus has more people then the capacity allows there are plenty of men in there copping a feel acting like they can’t help it.

I was at  the movies a couple weeks ago and the theater was packed.  The guy that was sitting next to me slowly kept moving his arm into my seat until I was squished into the other side of the seat so that he wouldn’t touch me.  Seriously, almost the entire right side of his body was in my chair.  My husband switched seats with me in the middle of the movie and all of the sudden the guy and all of his body parts never made it over the barrier of his chair.

Young women in Kerala now are more career oriented than ever, but it doesn’t last long.  Once women get married they find their husband doesn’t want a working woman so she is forced to quit her job and stay home.  Men expect the woman to run the house and cook all the meals and that is what happens here.

It seems that everyday there is a news story about how a woman in India got raped or molested.  The sad part about the news stories is that there is ALWAYS someone saying that it is the woman’s fault.  One such story was about a rickshaw driver who raped a woman.  It was her fault because she needed to go somewhere and had to take a rickshaw?  The really really really messed up part is that in every story there seems to always be a politician saying that it’s the woman’s fault for the rape or molestation.  Who is electing these politicians?  The women who are reporting these crimes is a very small percentage.  Once a rape or molestation is reported often times the woman’s family is embarrassed of their daughter or wife.  She will sometimes get shunned by her own family.

I have met so many guys in their early 20’s that want to meet a woman, but say it is tough in Kerala.  They say that women here are standoffish and not interested.  Well, society has made them that way.

Women hold office, can drive, work, and can do anything a man can do, but they are not respected for any of that.  Men ignore all of that and the woman in India has one title that stands above all; WOMAN. She will be ridiculed and put down and forced to change her life because the man said so.

To the rest of India, Kerala looks great because it has the highest educated population and close to 100% literacy. Education and literacy will do nothing for your state as long as society lives like it is in the dark ages.  Kerala also has the highest suicide rate. In fact the suicide rate here in Kerala is more than double the rest of India.

Don’t believe all of the great stuff that you hear about women lives in Kerala.   I scoff when I hear people say that women in Kerala live comparable lives to women in developed countries.  It just isn’t true.