It’s been a month now here in Kochi.  After my first few days here I wasn’t sure that I would make it to a month.  I struggle still to fall in love with this place, but it has become someplace that I can tolerate.  I am not really sure what happened to me this past month.  I saw a side of myself that I hope to never see again.  Each day I had a new feeling that I didn’t like.  I felt depressed, hopeless, trapped, unmotivated, rude, negative, and the list goes on.  Sure I had glimpses of happiness within all of that, but mostly my days this past month were consumed by these negative feelings.  I am not sure why these emotions overtook me, but whatever the reason I cannot let that happen again.  I vow to find the beauty here in Kochi.  Better yet, I vow to experience Kochi, to observe it, to allow myself to get immersed in it.  Beautiful or not, Kochi is what it is, and I will take part in what it has to offer.

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