I feel like I am trapped.

I have lost all sense of myself since coming here.

I am living someone’s life. Who’s? Not mine.

Before I made the move to Kerala I was so excited.  My husband and I both were excited.  I had been here before and loved it. Maybe I loved it because it was a vacation and not a life move.  I have been here for almost five months now.  I am engulfed in the culture, and I am struggling.

I am struggling mostly because I am a woman in this society.  Kerala is a male dominated society.  Everything positive I had heard about the lives women lead here in Kerala was false.  Little did I know, the respect this society has for women is purely a myth.  Yes, life in Kerala for women has come a long way from where is used to be, but it is nowhere near where it should be in today’s world.

When I go out on the street I have learned to walk as far away from others as I can.  The reason is because I have had so many men touch me inappropriately and then act like it was a mistake.  I now understand the reason for women’s lines in all public places.  Really, though, the women’s lines don’t work.  While the women are in the line, men are harassing them from the men’s line.  This is the same reason there is a woman’s area on all buses.  That doesn’t work either because once the bus has more people then the capacity allows there are plenty of men in there copping a feel acting like they can’t help it.

I was at  the movies a couple weeks ago and the theater was packed.  The guy that was sitting next to me slowly kept moving his arm into my seat until I was squished into the other side of the seat so that he wouldn’t touch me.  Seriously, almost the entire right side of his body was in my chair.  My husband switched seats with me in the middle of the movie and all of the sudden the guy and all of his body parts never made it over the barrier of his chair.

Young women in Kerala now are more career oriented than ever, but it doesn’t last long.  Once women get married they find their husband doesn’t want a working woman so she is forced to quit her job and stay home.  Men expect the woman to run the house and cook all the meals and that is what happens here.

It seems that everyday there is a news story about how a woman in India got raped or molested.  The sad part about the news stories is that there is ALWAYS someone saying that it is the woman’s fault.  One such story was about a rickshaw driver who raped a woman.  It was her fault because she needed to go somewhere and had to take a rickshaw?  The really really really messed up part is that in every story there seems to always be a politician saying that it’s the woman’s fault for the rape or molestation.  Who is electing these politicians?  The women who are reporting these crimes is a very small percentage.  Once a rape or molestation is reported often times the woman’s family is embarrassed of their daughter or wife.  She will sometimes get shunned by her own family.

I have met so many guys in their early 20’s that want to meet a woman, but say it is tough in Kerala.  They say that women here are standoffish and not interested.  Well, society has made them that way.

Women hold office, can drive, work, and can do anything a man can do, but they are not respected for any of that.  Men ignore all of that and the woman in India has one title that stands above all; WOMAN. She will be ridiculed and put down and forced to change her life because the man said so.

To the rest of India, Kerala looks great because it has the highest educated population and close to 100% literacy. Education and literacy will do nothing for your state as long as society lives like it is in the dark ages.  Kerala also has the highest suicide rate. In fact the suicide rate here in Kerala is more than double the rest of India.

Don’t believe all of the great stuff that you hear about women lives in Kerala.   I scoff when I hear people say that women in Kerala live comparable lives to women in developed countries.  It just isn’t true.

Sugar cane juice is a common commodity along the streets in India.   The juice extractor can quickly churn out some fresh made juice from real sugar cane.  Watch how it is done.

I made a new video today. Here it is:

Onion Vada is a yummy south Indian snack that we have sometimes in the afternoons. I love Onion Vada at room temperature. I have heard it is best when it is hot, but I haven’t tried it like that. It is a delicious! This is my mother-in-laws recipe (she doesn’t do exact measurements that’s why there is no measurements on the recipe).

-Onions
-Chickpea flour (you can buy this at an Indian store)
-Salt
-1/2 spoon Sugar
-Water
-Oil (for frying)

• Start heating the oil in a pan.
• Slice onions so there are little strips (Maybe cut the circle slice into fourths)
• In a bowl mix all of the ingredients, expect the oil and the onions. The mixture should not be runny. It should be thick.
• Add the onions to the mixture. The mixture should be enough to coat the onions.
• Once the oil is hot add a dollop of the onion mixture into the oil. Once the Onion Vada is golden brown remove from oil and place on paper or paper towel to soak up oil.
• Enjoy! 🙂